shake shake shake! August 7, 2009

So, I shook up my snow globe. In the form of quitting my restaurant job.
Now, this may seem a bit impulsive, as I don’t have another full-time job lined up. However, Rory & I did book some more work in Texas for this month, which conflicted with my job, so that pretty much made the decision for me. I know I’ve got about two months of my basic needs covered so I have time to figure out what’s next. But also, I am following a gut feeling. I am ready to move on.

Sometimes I have trouble listening to that feeling. I doubt it and give it more time. Once I was in therapy and I really hated the therapist. What I felt like I needed was another round of therapy to deal with this therapist! He was a weird dude, and I immediately didn’t like him but assumed that came from one of my deep personal issues that he would eventually help me work through. He thought that this therapy was very necessary for me. And, obviously, someone else must have all the answers to what is best for my life.

It got worse, and I dreaded each session, but it took three months for me to trust my gut feeling that said, “get the hell outta this!”

So this time, when my gut said: “go,” I said, “Yes, okay. I will.”

I feel excited! I know I spent the exact right amount of time at this job. It was everything I needed over the past year. I needed to have a steady, regular gig, where I knew what to expect and what my budget was. I made some wonderful friends who have truly enriched my life. I was able to use my free time to concentrate on my personal growth. And every time I felt drained or burnt out from the job, I would get a lovely gift. Often in the form of a comedic star being in my section, and that one time her good friend joined her, or a very friendly smile from this one when I brought him his decaf coffee.

So, what’s next? I am not completely sure. I’m using a bit of ye olde adage, “jump and the net will appear.” I am hoping that by changing up my routine, and giving myself a bit of time to breathe, I will get some clarity about what I want in my life for the next five years. And I will make the space in my life to receive whatever it is that’s next. I believe the net will appear, and it will be beautiful and have pretty purple beads and bright red strings and big old hippie sunflowers! Or maybe magenta stripes with pink polka dots! Or it will be dark blue with bright gold stars! I’m open to it!