The other day I was in Food Emporium, picking up some groceries. I found myself thinking, I just want to be at the point in my life where I really enjoy picking out produce!
I have a fantasy of my adult New York City life. For some reason this always takes place on the Upper West Side. Not that I really want to live there, but maybe I have watched too many New York City romantic comedies from the 90’s. Like Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail. She has that giant 1-bedroom apartment with a great kitchen and room for things like tea time with friends.
When I have someone over for tea, the question always is: “Who gets the ottoman and who gets the floor?”
(The guest of course. But they always feel bad and offer me the lone sitting tool. Please, friend, enjoy the ottoman! Sorry there is no back to it! Here—I will sit on the bed, so we can see eye-to-eye! Ouchouchouch I just spilled my tea. Anyways, carry on!)
We’re talking tight quarters over here!
So I imagine myself picking out produce at that grocery store around 66th Street. I can’t remember the name because I never actually shop there. But I would be picking up avocados, trying to find the ones that are just the amount of ripe I’m looking for. I’m picking up apples and smelling them to find the best ones. (This is not an actual technique for picking out apples, but Future Me finds it very helpful.) I’d be putting the best apples in my eco-friendly bag so that I could bake an apple pie from scratch in my giant kitchen. It’s generally around the holidays in this fantasy. And I have the space to have some friends over. This way I don’t eat the entire apple pie. (Naturally I have also achieved THE body in this fantasy, and have a very healthy relationship with food.)
Well I sort of laughed to myself because, although I don’t have the space for this holiday party quite yet, if it is really important to me to enjoy grocery shopping right now, THAT is within reach!
So in that Food Emporium that isn’t exactly my dream grocery store, I told myself: If you want to enjoy picking out some fucking apples, now is your chance! This is a store, there are apples. Go for it!
